Harold Raymond Martin

     oh where to being?  well i have been having quite the time lately with live at every angle.  since my ring was stolen (yup beating that dead horse again), it has been nothing but bad, bad, bad...and to the universe i would like to say...."are you done yet?"  



     my grandfather who basically raised me with my grandma by his side for the first 17 years of my life is in the ICU unit of the mt. pleasant hospital.  Harold Martin was in his 50's when he and my grandmother Margarete Martin moved up north from where they raised their children in Detroit, Mi to Clare mi after papa retired.  they have property behind Mid Michigan Community Hospital that they have had in the family for years and years, my mother, aunt and grandparents along with many of my mother's friends have stories of coming up to visit in the "shanty" an old house built back in black and white picture days that was like a cabin to us.  this is where i remember living when i was very young while they built the house my grandfather lives in today.  my mother as i remember it lived with Joe (my step-father) at my grandma carol's house and i lived with granny and papa for a few years as a child, then mom and i would move here...then back to papa's....move out again....move back....move out...move back....this is why when someone asks me where i am from i sigh and say "do you have an hour"...
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     my grandfather taught me how to fish, play rummy, checkers and so many other things.  he taught me how to drive defensively...and critiques me every time i am behind the wheel..i love this man like nobody else in the world.  we have such a deep relationship, i cant imagine my life without him.  my mother was very close to him too, when she passed she was living with him getting ready to build a house on some of the land by his house so she could be close to him if needed.

       he helps me with my garden as i did with his so many years ago, we would plant the seeds, water, and pick together and i plot my garden a lot like he did.  he gives me tips and tricks of the trade that i never learned then.

     after my mother died i moved in with my grandfather so he wasn't alone, shortly after that my aunt luanne moved in with him and has been there since.  i have a great respect for this woman because my grandfather is not the easiest person to live with.  he is very opinionated at times and doesn't filter anything..says it how it is and that's that...very frugal too, if you spent money on something and he thought it was useless...he'd let you know.  aunt luanne deals with this and takes such great care of him...everything he needs its done, she keeps him company and is there for him whenever he needs it.  she updates the house with new things and keeps it nice and tidy.  i don't know what i would do without her right now...she has been his backbone through all this mess the last week and she is still smiling.

     so he has had his hip replaced 3 times now.  usually he doesn't lift his foot up high enough while walking and the smallest thing will trip him and down he goes and out pops the hip.  or he will be getting out of bed and out pops the hip.  he can only pop it out so many times before it has to be replaced...well this is his third.  after the replacement he goes to rehab and they teach him how to walk again and send him home and he uses a cane or a walker for awhile.  as my papa lay in his hospital bed in e.r. he looks up at me and says 'this hasn't happened before' and tears welled in his eyes...for the first time since my mom was dieing i could see fear in his eyes.   he was scared he was gonna pass, i know it.  well they took him to ICU because he was draining so much shit out of him through a tube and this is where he is now.  the tube is out and he is alive and ok....but so damn fragile....i hate seeing him on that bed, hooked to a bunch of shit, and not sitting in his chair at home, watching the weather or the news, reading a book or looking out his picture window to his bird feeders and area where the turkey and deer come in....

     he has seen his wife pass, his daughter, and numerous church friends...i have to wonder if deep inside he wonders if its his turn...86 and not getting any younger, cant take many more of these surgeries, rehabs and not getting around without something popping out or breaking...oh papa...i don't know what I'm gonna do without you...

The dad everyone should have...

Joe Chiazzese



Joe in the limo in Vegas




jamming at the reception




Joe and his girls at rain forest cafe




Missing Time at the reception




outside the limo after the wedding



     I had 2 dads my whole life...one was a sperm donor who was a piece of shit and i have nothing to do with him and the second is a wonderfully caring man Joe Chiazzese.

    My mom and Joe were best friends growing up...they met in school and dated for a long time, when my mom was 15 and Joe 16 they had my sister Cynthia, they decided the best decision for them was to put her up for adoption through my mom's Lutheran church and she was adopted out to a wonderful family who took great care of her and gave her a wonderful life....

     mom and Joe eventually got married very young, divorced and continued to be friends...after mom passed i found her diary from when she was this age and Joe was all over it..she loved him truly even when she was married to others.

     when i was two they remarried and were together until i was 16 years old.   Joe raised me like i was his own and Cynthia and i joke to this day that i was raised by her biological parents...i guess its more true than a joke though!!  Joe loved my mother and i with all he had for sure, he was a great dad that took me to the backyard to teach me bow hunting and he never had a problem taking me to my friends if i asked.   he was the best ever.  after mom and Joe divorced for the last time we lost touch with he and his family...it was super hard for me because i grew up with all these cousins, aunts, uncles, grandmas...and they were gone...we have found each other again on face book for the most part but it definitely isn't how it was when i was younger.  grandma carol just had us over for spaghetti dinner and i have to say it was just as good as when i was younger!!

     Joe flew to Vegas for Todd and i to get married so he could give me away..that was the best present ever because if not for him then Cynthia would have done it!!  it would have been just as special but it was defiantly nice to have Joe bring me down the isle and give me to Todd for his wife....that was super special and thanks so much for it dad!!

    Joe has always loved his guitar/bass...he loves them both! on my bday's i would wake up to "they say its your birthday...duh duh duh...happy birthday to ya!!" on the guitar...."arms length away from your nearest camper" was a favorite saying of his when i was too clingy.  i have so many memories of this time in my life i could go on forever.

     this man is as loyal as can be when you are a part of his family...he was right by my mom's side when she passed...they had been friends, a married couple, parents, and lovers for so many years he would drive up from sterling heights and go to the hospital then back down to work and go to school for nine days straight...he was by her side when she took her final breath and to this day we talk talk talk about memories of ours that we have of her...i go through mom's things sometimes and find pictures of them when they were super young and he has his long hair, and striking good looks....

     so this is for you dad...i love you with all i got and i hope that we are in touch forever...i miss you lots when we are apart and i hope that you are super happy where you are!! thanks for everything and i will never ever forget everything you've done for me and my family...your band playing at our reception, your kindness in Vegas...love you lots!!

dear amy

Dear Amy,

     Well im glad we worked things out!!  I am so glad your family and mine have come together and Ive had the pleasure of meeting the wonderful people in your family.

     Keirstin is so full of excitement and joy and she always wants to read and i love that!! she is a great kid.

     Ronnie and elizabeth clicked that very first time we met at the campground...they will forever be great cousins!!

     Ron takes great care of you and your family and its obvious he loves you very much...couldnt get better than that!!

     I know we have had our recent falling "outs" but im here and im not going anywhere, i will not betray you or speak badly of you EVER....keep your head up and things will work out in time you will see...they always do.  thanks for listening and trusting and comming to terms with me and our family here.  youre a great mom...you can see it in your kids...a little anal and overprotective at times but so am i for sure!!

     just know that there is love in this house for you and for all of our family out there that want to be involved in our lives!!  we are great people and so are you so obviously we should mix well!!

     love ya girl...keep that pretty little head of yours up...it will get better..i promise