oh where to being? well i have been having quite the time lately with live at every angle. since my ring was stolen (yup beating that dead horse again), it has been nothing but bad, bad, bad...and to the universe i would like to say...."are you done yet?"
my grandfather who basically raised me with my grandma by his side for the first 17 years of my life is in the ICU unit of the mt. pleasant hospital. Harold Martin was in his 50's when he and my grandmother Margarete Martin moved up north from where they raised their children in Detroit, Mi to Clare mi after papa retired. they have property behind Mid Michigan Community Hospital that they have had in the family for years and years, my mother, aunt and grandparents along with many of my mother's friends have stories of coming up to visit in the "shanty" an old house built back in black and white picture days that was like a cabin to us. this is where i remember living when i was very young while they built the house my grandfather lives in today. my mother as i remember it lived with Joe (my step-father) at my grandma carol's house and i lived with granny and papa for a few years as a child, then mom and i would move here...then back to papa's....move out again....move back....move out...move back....this is why when someone asks me where i am from i sigh and say "do you have an hour"...
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my grandfather taught me how to fish, play rummy, checkers and so many other things. he taught me how to drive defensively...and critiques me every time i am behind the wheel..i love this man like nobody else in the world. we have such a deep relationship, i cant imagine my life without him. my mother was very close to him too, when she passed she was living with him getting ready to build a house on some of the land by his house so she could be close to him if needed.
he helps me with my garden as i did with his so many years ago, we would plant the seeds, water, and pick together and i plot my garden a lot like he did. he gives me tips and tricks of the trade that i never learned then.
after my mother died i moved in with my grandfather so he wasn't alone, shortly after that my aunt luanne moved in with him and has been there since. i have a great respect for this woman because my grandfather is not the easiest person to live with. he is very opinionated at times and doesn't filter anything..says it how it is and that's that...very frugal too, if you spent money on something and he thought it was useless...he'd let you know. aunt luanne deals with this and takes such great care of him...everything he needs its done, she keeps him company and is there for him whenever he needs it. she updates the house with new things and keeps it nice and tidy. i don't know what i would do without her right now...she has been his backbone through all this mess the last week and she is still smiling.
so he has had his hip replaced 3 times now. usually he doesn't lift his foot up high enough while walking and the smallest thing will trip him and down he goes and out pops the hip. or he will be getting out of bed and out pops the hip. he can only pop it out so many times before it has to be replaced...well this is his third. after the replacement he goes to rehab and they teach him how to walk again and send him home and he uses a cane or a walker for awhile. as my papa lay in his hospital bed in e.r. he looks up at me and says 'this hasn't happened before' and tears welled in his eyes...for the first time since my mom was dieing i could see fear in his eyes. he was scared he was gonna pass, i know it. well they took him to ICU because he was draining so much shit out of him through a tube and this is where he is now. the tube is out and he is alive and ok....but so damn fragile....i hate seeing him on that bed, hooked to a bunch of shit, and not sitting in his chair at home, watching the weather or the news, reading a book or looking out his picture window to his bird feeders and area where the turkey and deer come in....
he has seen his wife pass, his daughter, and numerous church friends...i have to wonder if deep inside he wonders if its his turn...86 and not getting any younger, cant take many more of these surgeries, rehabs and not getting around without something popping out or breaking...oh papa...i don't know what I'm gonna do without you...
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